Tabu Sensei
by Watermelonsmellinfellon
Summary: WHAT! Sakura has a secret that only Pakkun knows? At the same time, Icha Icha is being trumped by the new Tabu series! What happens when Kakashi buys this book? Why has Pakkun read it? With Sakura no less? What is the little blossom of Konoha hiding? How long will it be before everyone finds out?
1. A New Book on the Shelf

**A/N: This is a new story of mine.**

**Tabu Sensei = Taboo Teacher, for those who didn't get it.**

**I don't own Naruto, just this idea.**

**Reviews are always welcome. If you want to see something, leave it in your review. For instance, if you want Lee running around village in only his underwear, because he thinks it'll help him train better, let me know!**

**Onward!**

Sakura was standing in her kitchen doorway, staring at what was sitting on her table. It wasn't really a what but more of a who, even though this who wasn't human at all.

"So can I ask why you're covering my table with your fur, Pakkun?" she asked, setting her groceries next to the small Pug.

Pakkun, one of Kakashi's ninken, gave a small yawn, letting out a whine in the process. "Well, I ran out of my shampoo, and I was wondering if you had any that you would be willing to share?"

Sakura gave him a blank look, which he returned easily. They looked at each other for quite a while before she sighed. Pakkun was the master of blank expressions. There was no way to win a staring contest with him! "Fine! I'll get you a bottle!" She moved to the hall while shouting over her shoulder, "Only because I like you, and you're cute!"

Pakkun growled a little at that, and she laughed. He really didn't like being called cute, but she couldn't help it! He was really tiny, even for a Pug, and looked adorable!

She grabbed one of her many bottles of_ Minty Rain Forest Mist Shampoo_. He was really lucky that she had so many bottles. Otherwise, she wouldn't be so lenient with giving him some.

Returning to the kitchen, she placed the bottle in front of him. He smiled, "Ooh... fifty percent more! Big bottle!"

Sakura nodded, "Yeah, so Kakashi sent you to me cause he didn't want to pay ten dollars, right?"

Pakkun sighed. She knew Kakashi so well that it was scary. "Yeah, he didn't really put it in those words, but that was the idea he came up with."

She shook her head. Kakashi was almost lazier than Shikamaru! He was a legend known as the Copy Ninja, which she believed was because he was too lazy to come up with his own jutsu. He was never on time for anything, which wasn't all that different from her Genin days, and he even refused to buy his own food and other objects, opting to come to her house instead for what he needed. Now he was too lazy to take care of his own ninken!

"Well, you're already here. I'm about to make dinner. Would like to stay?" she asked, turning to put her groceries away.

He yawned again. "Sure, if you really are okay with it. Why not?"

She pointed to the living room. "Go nap or something. You're going to collapse on the table, which I need to be dog free, so I can chop vegetables."

Pakkun stood and grabbed the bottle of shampoo with his mouth then hopped off the table to trot into the other room.

Sakura pulled out all the needed ingredients and set to work on making dinner. The rice steamer was put on a low setting, allowing her to work on other things. She planned on making a lot. She always made a lot. It was a necessity.

Pakkun came back into the room, claiming that he couldn't he couldn't sleep, "Why are you making so much food?"

Before she could answer, the actual answer burst through the door, "Sakura! You're making Tonkatsu!" Naruto smiled, sniffing the air before grinning even wider. "And Yakiniku!"

Naruto's head connected with the floor as Sasuke rounded the corner. "Idiot."

Pakkun nodded his head in understanding. "I get it. You were expecting company."

"Not really. It's just that every time I cook, they appear! Seriously! It started last year, and I've only just gotten used to it. Sai will walk in next, and Kakashi will appear on the window sill. It's like they have a radar that tells them when I cook. So I just make a lot of food," Sakura told him with an exasperated sigh.

Pakkun's laughter died down when Naruto took notice of him and plucked him up off the floor. "It's been a while, Pakkun!"

Sasuke ignored at both of them and sat at the table, getting comfortable. Not too long after that, Sai was stepping over Naruto to get into the kitchen. "Hello, ugly," he commented with a wave and a small _real_ smile.

Sakura sighed at the nickname, annoyed at how it somehow stuck. Sai had come a long way from his first days on team seven. They all had, but Sai's upbringing made him a little different, and his change was a much larger and impressive one than even hers. He had been through alot, and after so much trying, he had finally been able to express his emotions without a problem. When he became comfortable with himself, he had called her beautiful, which for some reason made her very uncomfortable, so she suggested that he just keep calling her 'ugly'. He asked why, because he had finally understood that it was offensive, and she told him that she was used to it more and didn't want it to change. So he always gave her a small smile whenever he greeted her, to let her know that he was playing around.

Pakkun had finally gotten out of Naruto's grip and was, once again, sitting on the table. Sakura noticed how he sat closer to Sasuke, who was the furthest away from Naruto.

Sasuke's attitude made a much better person to be around these days. He had come back to Konoha three years ago and was put on trial. He got away with a year's probation, because he had killed so many S Class criminals. That had lessened his punishment, though the Elders weren't happy with it at all. Still, Lady Tsunade only made him wait a year before returning him to the roster.

Sakura was glad that everyone got along these days. Sasuke hadn't really been offended by the fact that Sai was his replacement and actually made a crack on how similar in appearance they were. Sasuke was introduced to Yamato, and he even apologised for running Yamato through with a blade that was charged with electricity. Yes, team seven was united once more, though all of them were currently at Jonin level or higher and were no longer an actual team. It held a sentimental feeling that none of them wanted to give up.

"Yo!"

They all turned to see the Legendary Copy Ninja sitting on the windowsill, just like Sakura had predicted.

She looked to Pakkun and made a gesture toward Kakashi. "See?! I have it all mapped out!"

Pakkun gave a throaty chuckle and stood to greet his master.

Kakashi looked up from his book to acknowledge his friend. "I assume that you're joining us for dinner?"

Pakkun snickered when Kakashi leaned to the side, dodging a stalk of celery that Sakura had thrown. "Yes, but unlike you, she actually invited _me_ because_ I'm_ cute."

Kakashi huffed, "Sure." He gave the Pug a raised brow. "I can guarantee that I am much cuter than you. I thought that you hated it when people called you cute."

Pakkun looked over towards Sakura and smiled a little. "Well, sometimes it's okay."

When dinner had finished, everyone, except Pakkun, returned home. The ninken had decided to stay behind for a while.

Sakura plopped onto her bed, pulling out the notebook that she stashed between the mattress and the box spring. She flipped it open, grabbed a pen, and began writing.

Pakkun sat a couple inches away from her on the bed. He had known about her secret. The thing that no one, not even _Ino_ knew. He was watching her as she wrote and finally asked, "Are you ever going to tell them?"

She paused in her writing to give him a horrified look. "Are you insane?!" she roared.

His little ears flinched back at the noise, and she sent him an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Pakkun. Anyway, do you know what they would do if they found out about this? I would be forever embarrassed," she explained.

Pakkun sighed, "I understand, but they are your friends. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad as you think."

She tapped the pencil against her lips and sighed, "Maybe I'll tell Sai. He doesn't go blabbing to the world about anything." It was true! Sai had once seen her without a bra on and never told a soul! She was expecting him to at least ask a question regarding women and their reactions to being caught naked, but he didn't! He never said a word, so she knew that he was trustworthy.

Pakkun nodded, "Good. Now what will this one be called?"

Kakashi walked along the busy streets of Konoha, reading his trusty Icha Icha Tactics. He was on his way home from Sakura's and was taking the scenic route. A large sign in his peripheral vision caught his full attention. Hanging on one of the biggest billboards in Konoha was an advertisement for a new romance series.

According to the billboard, the series was called Tabu, and the first book of the series had already sold over ten million. It said the fans were awaiting the arrival of the second book which was coming out in days, and that certain stores were having a special for the first ten buyers.

Kakashi considered the advertisement a little while longer before heading to his favorite book store. When he entered, he was greeted with the sight of Izumo and Kotetsu trying to barter with the shop owner to let them off the hook for something. When they saw him, they immediately gave up their argument to engage him in conversation, something he wasn't too thrilled about.

"Hey, senpai! What are you doing here?" Kotatsu asked.

Kakashi used it as an opportunity to see how well known the Tabu series was. "I came to ask the shop owner about the Tabu series."

That statement opened it all up. Izumo was smiling broadly, and Kotetsu was blushing a little, though he was the first to speak. "I really like the first book."

Izumo nodded his head. "Yeah, it was really well written, and the sex was great!"

Kotetsu blushed even harder, but nodded his agreement.

Kakashi gave them both a shocked look. "You both have read the book?"

They nodded together, "Yes."

"What does it look like?" he asked them.

Izumo crooked a finger and walked to the back of the store, Kakashi and Kotetsu following. The entire back wall was dedicated to the book which featured and very detailed drawing of a man with white hair, who was dressed in a standard shinobi flak vest. He had his right hand running through the hair of a red haired woman in front of him. His left arm suggesting that he was holding her to him. She looked to be happy as she leaned the back of her head onto his chest. The words _**Tabu Sensei**_were written in a fancy calligraphy.

He plucked a book off the shelf and read the summary.

_Hana is a kunoichi that has just noticed how attractive her sensei Mahosha is._

_Mahosha is a Jonin, who has realized that his little flower is blossoming into a beautiful rose, and finds himself enjoying all the things that come with said realization._

_Unfortunately, student/teacher relationships are considered Tabu!_

_No one could ever know except them. It was just confusing when something that was so obviously wrong, always felt so right!_

He arched a brow at the words. They did catch his interest a little. The rating was set for MAC, meaning Mature Composition. He looked over to Izumo and Kotetsu. "Did your girlfriends get you into this?"

Kotetsu smiled a little. "Actually, I bought it first, and then I had him buy it. We showed it to our girls not long after."

Izumo nodded, "You would love it! Seriously, that guy is horny all the time! And the girl is incredibly kinky and not really opposed to what he wants to do. He even talked her into doing it on the dance floor of a club!"

Kakashi gave him a look that asked how that was possible but Izumo just laughed. "Sorry, but you have to buy it and read it! The flirting and the innuendos are great too!"

Kakashi sighed and trotted off to the front of the store. He placed the book on the counter and noticed how the man's eyes widened. "I have sold at least a million of these! I get shipments every week!"

He put the book in a bag. "That'll be two ryo, please. Anyway, I think you'll love it!"

Kakashi thanked the man and waved farewell to his Chunin friends, before taking his leave.

Slipping Icha Icha Tactics into his pouch, he opened his new book. The first page was a full body picture of the girl, Hana. She had a perfect hourglass figure and nice legs. She wasn't exposing everything she had, which for some reason, made him like it. Her hair was dark red, and her eyes were teal. The next page was the man, Mahosha, who was dressed similarly to himself, without a mask or a scar. His hair stood in all directions as well, and he wore his headband around his neck. His eyes were black, which contrasted his white hair.

Kakashi turned down his street and paused to let himself into his apartment. He found Pakkun laying on the sofa.

"What's that?" the little Pug asked, ears perked.

Kakashi showed him the cover. "A new series has hit Konoha, and apparently, it's on par with Icha Icha, if what the inside cover said was correct. I decided to buy it and check it out. It's called_** Tabu Sensei**_."

Pakkun nodded his head. "Oh, I read some of that."

Kakashi gave Pakkun a WTF look.

"Sakura owns the book, and she lets me sit on her shoulder and read it with her," the dog explained quickly. "I understand the idea, and I can't help but feel that I would like it more if the characters were all dogs and not humans. But, I guess that for human work, it's okay."

Kakashi looked at the little book in a new light. Pakkun said that it was okay. He didn't know which disturbed him more. The fact that Pakkun read a smut book and thought it was okay, or the fact that Pakkun read a smut book whilst sitting on Sakura's shoulders! Sakura liked porn!

He headed off to his room, laying on the bed, now more intrigued than ever!

Pakkun sat on the couch with a grin on his face. Sakura would die laughing when he told her that Kakashi was reading her book! Yes, he had read it over her shoulder, but he's also been there when she was writing it!

Who knew that when he dared her to create a romance series that would rival Icha Icha that she would succeed? He was just teasing her when she complained about poor plot sense in the Icha Icha books, letting Paradise go with a barely passing grade. All he had said was, "Why don't you make your own book that will rival Icha Icha in every way?" He didn't think that she would actually do it! Yet, he was proud. She had accomplished a difficult task and was able to reap the benefits by having better living quarters and more money to spend on herself.

He couldn't wait for tomorrow! Sakura was going to lose it!


	2. Blissfully (Un)aware

**A/N: Hello! This is the second chapter! I want to thank those who reviewed. You all rule!**

**This chapter is dedicated to Luna Luce for being the 10th reviewer!**

**I don't own Naruto, just this idea for this story.**

**Onward!**

Sakura ran along the streets of Konoha. Lady Tsunade wanted to see her immediately, and for what, she couldn't begin to wonder. It was supposed to be her day off, meaning no calls _all_ day, but she was woken up at four in the morning by an Anbu tapping on her bedroom window.

If she was needed at the hospital, the Anbu would have told her that instead, and Shizune would have briefed her there. But, no, his orders were to bring her to the Hokage quickly, or risk demotion.

What could Lady Tsunade need that was so important? What was so important that she had to send Anbu to wake Sakura up at four in the morning and even threaten to lower the man's rank?

She ignored the Anbu accompanying her and jumped into the Hokage's open window, landing right next to her shishou. The woman in the chair was surrounded by sake bottles, and Sakura began to worry. Was she in one of her sake induced moods? If so, Sakura was done for!

"Ah! Sakura! That lazy Anbu finally got you!" her shishou smiled. "I need you to help me!"

"What do you need, my Lady?"

Tsunade held up the one thing that Sakura would have never thought she would find in her shishou's hands.

It was a book, more specifically,_** her**_ book. _Why does she have my book? I didn't think she read such things_!

"This book has become a very famous work! I had Shizune go out and buy it for me when I heard Izumo and Kotetsu talking about it! I really like it, and I want you to help me find the author!" the blonde woman claimed loudly. "Who uses the name Pinky Pi? What kind of a writer uses such a girly fake name?"

Sakura's jaw tightened. Pinky Pi was a symbol of her hair and love for math and pie. No one had realized who wrote the book yet, so the name wasn't all that stupid! But this was her shishou, and she knew better than to lose it on the Hokage.

"Why do you want to find the author, my Lady?" Sakura asked, hoping beyond all hope that it wasn't for a bad reason. Otherwise, she would make sure her teacher drank more sake and forget all about her order.

"Well, first, I'd like to know if its a guy or not, because some of the writing leans toward masculine nature, but then abruptly switches to a more feminine form. I also want to congratulate the writer for making a better book than Jiraiya's. There isn't one picture of a woman that looks anything like me in here! That makes it great!" Tsunade explained, waving the book around.

_Yeah, because big breasted women don't do it for me_!

Sakura gave her shishou a close look. She didn't seem angry at all, which ensured an easier time. Instead, she was smiling like a crazy woman. With a sigh, Sakura deemed it okay to tell her teacher.

"Uh, Lady Tsunade, I know who wrote the book."

The woman's eyes widened, and she leaned forward, her enormous bust squishing against her desk. "Really? Who is it?"

Sakura blushed. How do you go about telling your Hokage that you write porn? Jiraiya had no problem with people knowing, but Sakura was different.

**Straight up! That's how, you fucking twit**! Inner Sakura screamed in her mind.

Sakura straightened and looked her Lady in the eye. "It's me, Lady Tsunade!"

The woman sat there, staring at her. Her right eyebrow rose slightly as she tilted her head to the side. "Do you really expect me to believe that? You, who can't even read Icha Icha without blushing?"

Sakura sighed, "I know what you're thinking. When I was younger, I thought is was really smutty and gross, so when Kakashi Sensei offered to let me read Paradise, I stammered and fainted. Last year I actually bought the books and read them myself, and I came to realize how lame they were." She frowned, "I didn't write the book because I wanted to. It was a bet, or a challenge, however you want to see it."

Tsunade continued to give her student a look. "How did this come about then?"

Sakura rubbed her head and sighed once more. "Well, Pakkun tends to come over a lot because Kakashi is too lazy to take care of him. I was reading Icha Icha Tactics and kept complaining about how horrible it was. He just gave me a look and told me to write a series that was better than Icha Icha. He didn't think that I would do it, and frankly, neither did I, but I did. When I told him that I was going to do it, he laughed and stayed with me a lot more, helping me with ideas and such. So, really, this all came about because of a dog."

Tsunade regarded her apprentice for a while longer, before bursting out into loud guffaws. "I can't believe it! So that's how it happened!"

Sakura gave the woman before her a look that spoke volumes. She was crazy!

"Sakura, I already knew you wrote it! I just wanted to know why!" The woman continued to laugh, slamming her hand on her desk repeatedly. "You blush the same color as your hair!"

Sakura couldn't believe what she was hearing! How could her teacher do that to her? "Why did you make me explain all of that if you knew, my Lady?!"

"I wanted to hear you say it!" the busty woman continued, sitting back in her chair. "I mean, how could I not?! Pinky Pi?! Why choose such a name for yourself?!"

Sakura huffed, turning away so her shishou wouldn't see her blush. How embarrassing!

"Now, now ,Sakura, no need to get all angry. I should be thanking you for creating something that I can read and not be disgusted by. When Jiraiya finds out that an eighteen year old _virgin_ girl made something better than his work, which took decades, he'll have a conniption!" Tsunade smiled broadly.

Sakura was on her knees in front of her shishou. Her fingers laced together while she gave her best puppy dog eyes! "Please, no! So far only you and Pakkun know! I can't have him finding out yet, or the whole village will know! That, or he'll tell Kakashi, and I don't think I can handle that!"

Tsunade smiled deviously, causing a shiver to run up Sakura's spine. The woman was planning something, and it wasn't good.

"So Kakashi's opinion matters that much, huh?" she asked. "I happened to notice that Mohosha resembles Kakashi quite a lot, even down to his name, Mohosha, which means copycat."

Sakura twitched a little. What was she getting at?

"Then there's Hana, who looks a lot like you with a name that means flower. And finally, their teammates, Kodoku, whose emotionally disturbed, and Kureiji, who is too hyperactive. They seem to represent Sai and Naruto. Tell me, Sakura, do you really think of Kakashi like _that_?"

Sakura looked at her in confusion. Was the woman insane?

"I don't understand, my Lady."

"Well, maybe it was a subconscious thing then that all of the characters in your book resemble people in your real life. To think that _you_ would want_ Kakashi_ to do to you what Mohosha did to Hana in chapter thirteen, makes me want to laugh!" Tsunade laughed again.

Sakura's blush darkened even more. Yes, chapter thirteen had the dance club and the orgasm on the floor in the crowd of people. Wait! She thought Sakura was envisioning herself and Kakashi in that scene?! She and Kakashi on the dance floor surrounded by people while he, with his subtleness, was discreetly thrusting into her from behind while they grinded.

She fell off the desk, hitting the ground with a thump. She groaned in pain as her shishou laughed even harder at her pupils misfortune.

"It's okay to think like that Sakura. Kakashi is definitely a fine piece."

She covered her ears. "NO! That's just wrong, my Lady!"

Tsunade's laugh died down to a small chuckle. "Okay, okay. I won't tell Jiraiya, just so that Kakashi won't find out. But as soon as Kakashi knows, I'm telling, so deal with it! Now out of my office!"

Sakura was out the window in a pink flash. That had to have been worse than the sex talk she had had to have with Tsunade when her training had started. It was worse! Back then, Sakura had already known the mechanics of the act, so it wasn't that much of a disgusting conversation. It was absolutely horrifying to tell her shishou that she was famous smut writer!

Her house was a welcome sight. The darkness wrapped around her form as she threw herself onto her bed and sighed. "I am never going to look at Kakashi the same way ever again!"

The next morning, Kakashi found himself dead tired. He had stayed up all night reading his new book and was now suffering because of it! But, damn, was it ever interesting!

When he left his room to go and make himself something to eat, Pakkun was wide awake on the couch, watching t.v.. "You look_ great_!" the small Pug teased.

Kakashi ignored him, walking into the kitchen and placing the book on the table. Pakkun followed him, jumping up onto the table. "So have you finished it yet?"

"No. When I get a new book, I take my time and read each page twice to make sure I understand what I'm reading."

Pakkun snorted, "No, you don't. You only do that with Icha Icha. Which means you think it's good enough to use the Icha Icha Method, as I call it."

Kakashi didn't answer. Why did he have to train Pakkun to be so damn smart? Wasn't Pakkun supposed to be loyal, admiring him without a problem? When did his own ninken start using his smart mouth and mind against his master? It wasn't fair!

Kakshi rummaged through his fridge, finding absolutely nothing. It was barer than a baby's bottom. With a sigh he closed the fridge and stood contemplating on what to do.

Pakkun began to chuckle, "You already know what you're going to do. Sakura might not be too happy though."

Kakashi joined in. It was true! As soon as he realized that he had no food, Sakura popped into his head. She always had food. Pakkun was right. She wouldn't be happy, but she had stopped hitting him a while ago. She didn't voice her feelings as often and never really objected to waking up and finding him, Naruto, Sasuke, or Sai in her kitchen. She would just walk in, grab some things, and start cooking.

Yeah, he'd go over to her house.

"Well,_ I'm_ staying here!" the Pug said, heading into the living room.

Sakura's house was a large white building in a secluded area of Konoha that not many knew of. She wasn't too fond of neighbors, and therefore, lived far from the normal population of civilians. Her home was big for only one person, yet he could understand her need for space. And considering how many times her teammates ended up in her house, whether it be for food, medical aid, or even a sleepover, it seemed to benefit all of them. It was so large, they each had a room of their own, if they were to ever stay over. She always made sure that the rooms were clean and to their tastes.

Sakura wouldn't object to him coming over, especially if he bought her something food related. So Kakashi stopped at the mini market by his house and bought her a pack of Mitarashi Dango, one of things she always loved to snack on. So, if any of them ever screwed up, they knew to buy her some, and that she would forgive them faster.

He took note of how much he was willing to spend on Sakura, yet barely anything on himself or his hounds. Weird!

Because he was feeling a bit lazy that morning, Kakashi used a hand seal to transport himself outside her house, so he wouldn't have to walk. He turned the key, as it sat in it's hiding place…. the key hole. Seriously, she just put a genjutsu on it, to hide it from civilians. A ninja wouldn't need a key to break into someones house. She only had it there so that Naruto would stop trying to show off by kicking the door down.

That had been a funny day! He and Sasuke had been lounging in the living room waiting for dinner when the hyperactive blonde kicked the door in. Sakura came stomping into the room, steam blasting from her ears. The boy was stupid enough to ask her if she was proud of what he did and was awake long enough to see a pale fist flying toward his face, before he was knocked back the way he came.

Good times!

He opened the door and closed it quietly, taking note of how none of the lights were on. That meant that Sakura was still sleeping which meant that she was open.

He crept up the stairs and down the hall, masking his presence along the way. Her door was open, and he sneaked inside, his movements appearing catlike. She didn't move. Her chakra was flowing soundly, proof that she was in a deep slumber. He stifled a snicker as he approached her bed. Yes, she was going to regret leaving herself so open to attack. Hadn't he taught her better?

He grabbed the sheet and began to slowly remove it, revealing her puppy pajamas. He nearly snorted when he noticed that the puppies looked like Pakkun. He removed the sheet, throwing it on the floor and made a hand seal. Water appeared from nowhere and drenched her form.

She sprung up out of the bed with a shriek, her fist hitting him in the chest. He grunted when his body met the wall. Damn! When had her reflexes become that quick? He was regretting his early morning wake up call now.

"The fuck, Kakashi!" she yelled, wiping her face.

He gave an uncomfortable laugh and winced as a pain in his chest made itself known. "Sorry. I just wanted to teach you a lesson. You seemed too open for attack, and I can't have one of my previous students slacking off. It'll give me a bad name," he said awkwardly.

She noticed his wince and and snorted at his words. "You know, I'm going to wait to heal you, so that you'll learn a lesson." She got up and stormed off into her bathroom that was connected to her bedroom.

"What do you want?!" she called out from the other room. "I was summoned to Lady Tsunade at four this morning, and I didn't get much sleep, so I'm not in the best of moods."

What did the Hokage need from her apprentice at such an ungodly hour? He shook himself off. That wasn't any of his business.

"Well, I happened to be in the neighborhood and thought I'd visit my favorite kunoichi of all time," he told her.

There was silence for a bit, before she said, "You have no food."

How she had managed to know him so well was astounding! She knew the meaning behind all of his excuses, and he'd just realized that having her know him so well, wasn't uncomfortable. Not in the slightest.

"Well, I was just thinking about how great you cook and thought I'd pop in," he laughed.

"At seven in the morning?!"

"I bought you some Dango though."

She popped her head out of the bathroom. "Mitarashi Dango?"

He nodded and pulled it out of the bag he was carrying. "See?"

She humphed and took the bag, tossing it on her bed. "Fine! I'll forgive you this time. Now lay on the floor and remove you vest, " she ordered, slipping in to medic mode.

"Well, Sakura, I didn't know you felt that way. Asking me to get naked already? No foreplay?"

She blushed and remembered what she had seen Lady Tsunade about that morning. She couldn't bring herself to look him in the eye as she began healing his injury. "Shut up!"

"You know, Pakkun told me the most interesting thing last night."

She stilled._ He didn'_t!

"There's this new book out, and Pakkun told me that you have purchased it."

Her breathing stopped.

"I must say that I was shocked when I heard that. I had run into some friends and with their word on how good it was, I bought it. Pakkun told me that you and him read it together, and I can't help but find that funny, considering you blush at the slightest mention of Icha Icha," he told her with a masked smile and a crinkle in the visible eye.

"Shut up! One, _**Tabu Sensei**_ is actually written well, while Icha Icha sucks. Icha Icha is definitely a fantasy world, because the only woman that looks anything like what is described in those books is Tsunade, and she hates that! At least _**Tabu Sensei**_ has a more realistic view. Two, the book has a theme and an actual plot line, whilst Icha Icha just had the same thing repeated in every book." Sakura glared at him, daring him to argue with her.

He just laughed, "So defensive. And I like Icha Icha! Don't insult such great literature!'

"Now who's being defensive?" she muttered.

When she finished, she stood and grabbed the bag from her bed. "Come on. Breakfast is on the way."

**A/N: So, I'm going to explain some things for you all.**

**Mohosha means Copycat. I did this because he is supposed to resemble Kakashi, who is the Copy Ninja. Mohosha looks like Kakashi, without a Sharingan or mask.**

**Hana means blossom or flower. Hana has bright red hair and seafoam green eyes. She is meant to resemble Sakura.**

**Just so you know! :)**

**Any suggestions in your reviews would be helpful! Even if it's something about Ino and Kiba getting together, or something like that! :)**

**The twentieth reviewer will have the next chapter dedicated to them!**


	3. The Shocked Sage

**A/N: Hello people! Another chapter is here!**

**This chapter is dedicated to Laurie, the 20th reviewer!**

**I don't own Naruto, but I own the idea for this story.**

**My beta is flamingpen18, she rules!**

***NOTE* Jiraiya is alive in my story! I decided that he was only badly injured by Pein, and went into hiding for a while, so that he can be in my story. He needed to be around for what I have planned. *NOTE***

**ONWARD!**

Jiraiya knew something was off the moment he walked into the village. Something wasn't right at all. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, but it made the hairs on his arms raise slightly. Something had changed in the village within the past year, he could tell.

Yet, the sky was still an unimaginable blue and the air was crisp. Nothing was destroyed, and children were playing in the streets without a problem. So what was it that put him on edge? What could it be?

Everywhere he walked, he saw lines of people, which was odd, because service in Konoha was always fast. As he walked, his attention was drawn to one of the lines. There were men and women of all ages, tapping feet impatiently, each of them holding the same red book.

He noticed one of the men was Shikamaru Nara, and went over to see what everyone was doing.

The lazy genius saw him immediately, and straightened.

"Shikamaru, it's been a while."

"Master Jiraiya, you're back!" the boy shook his hand and gave a small smile.

"What's with all of the lines? Considering that you're in one of them, I'd venture a guess that you know," he stated with a raised brow.

Shikamaru sighed, "Well, this new series came out a while ago and the second book is out today. People are hoping to get some of the signed books, before they're all gone. I've been standing here for three hours waiting for the store to open. Each book store in the village is having a special sale for the first number of buyers, and I want one of the signed ones."

Jiraiya gave the boy a strange look, "_You_ actually stood here for three hours just to buy a book?"

Shikamaru laughed, "All of the rookie nine are in line in various spots around the village. I'm buying mine and Kurenai's, cause she's out on a mission. Izumo, Kotetsu and Shizune are closer to the Hokage tower, but are in line as well. I saw Genma on my way here, and he was at the _front_ of his line."

"What book is this?" Jiraiya asked, now more intrigued than ever.

Shikamaru held up the book in his hand, letting the sannin take it and look it over.

It ward hardcover and bright red. The man and woman on the front were obviously the main characters and the name really caught his attention. _**Tabu Sensei**_. He didn't have to read the description to know what it was about, but did so anyway.

It was definitely something that grabbed your attention, and he had to admit to wanting to read it himself. He opened the book and was floored by what the first page said.

_Just as good as the Icha Icha series!- Ai Weekly._

_So wrong but so right! Sending Icha Icha running for the hills!- PiPai!_

_Enough to make you wish that you were in their place!- Are You There? Sighted!_

_Spectacular!- Wonderful Works!_

_Making Icha Icha eat it's dust!- The Romance Specialist!_

He wanted to faint. How could a book that wasn't even a year old from the looks of it, be better than his beloved Icha Icha? It wasn't possible!

"Who reads this?" he asked, waiting for the bad news.

"Honestly….everyone. Naruto, Lady Tsunade and even Kakashi. Of course Kakashi still brings Icha Icha with him, but usually only resorts to that when he's in front of Lady Tsunade just so he can rile her up. But, everyone reads this book, and can't wait to get their hands on the next in the series, " Shikamaru explained. He was never one to hold back, and his blunt answer hit Jiraiya like an avalanche.

"What's the next one called?"

Shikamaru gestured behind him, and Jiraiya turned to see a large billboard. On it, was three pictures, of three different couples. A red haired woman who was clinging to a silver haired man. Two men, one blonde and the other with spiked black hair, which were embracing intimately, and finally twin siblings, who were groping each other! What Kind of book was this? The name was _**Tabu Methods**_.

Everyone in the village was going crazy over a book? And people ever dared to think that it was better than his Icha Icha! Had the world gone insane?!

Jiraiya gave Shikamaru his book back, "Thanks kid. I'm going to see Tsunade now."

Shikamaru watched the man walk away. He could see that the Toad Sage was insulted, that his book were being kicked aside because of a new series. He felt a little bad for the man, but wasn't going to give up his place in line, to make him feel better. It was a drag to have to wait for so long, but it would be even more of a drag if he gave up his spot in line after hours of waiting just for one guy. Especially when his purchase was for someone else as well.

Jiraiya walked into Tsunade's office with a frown. She didn't notice him when he walked in, which got his attention. She was fixed on some paper she was reading, a slight blush in her face. He cleared his throat and she jumped. Her hand moving fast to close the book she was reading, but his eyes were just as fast and he recognized the red book easily.

"Not you too Tsunade!"

The busty woman laughed, "Well, I like it. I have Shizune out there buying the next one for me!"

"Do you know who wrote them? I want to speak with him_ privately_ if you know what I mean."

Tsunade smiled, "No one knows who wrote it! No one except the publisher, who I even threatened. But….whoever it is, scared them more than I did, amazingly. So, you'll have no luck in that department."

"I can't believe this! How dare someone try to best me! I am the Legendary Toad Sannin! A sage of ultimate renown! Nothing can ever match my brilliant work!" Jiraiya rambled.

Tsunade snorted, "It _is_ better than your _'brilliant work'_."

"What makes it better? Hm?" the sage demanded, sitting on the edge of her desk.

"Well, it has a more believable plot line than Icha Icha could ever wish to have, and the main character is a woman that actually could be real. She looks nothing like me in any way, and actually represents the normal female species. I mean, how many women walk around that look like me? It's unrealistic!" she explained, waving the book in his face, large cat bookmark hitting his nose.

He grabbed the offending item, turning to the page where her kitty bookmark was and read it.

_"You know you want to. All of these people, and the chances of getting caught are really high," Mohosha whispered in her ear seductively. He buried his face in her fiery hair, the light making it look more pink than red._

_Their hips grinded to the beat of the music, and Hana tried not to blush when his cloth covered erection rubbed against her. "In the middle of the dance floor?" she asked with a squeaky voice._

_"Why not?" he purred. "Don't you want to live a little?"_

_"B-but w-we-"_

_"Shh. I want it, and you want it, so why hold back?" he trailed his fingers down to her short skirt. While she tried to think he was busy freeing himself. Her body hiding his from the view of others._

_She gasped when his naked erection rubbed against her thighs. "Sensei! I don't think-"_

_"Mmm…..say it again," he breathed, causing shivers to run up her spine._

_"S-sensei?" she asked, a little confused._

_"Do you want it Hana? I can give it to you, but only if you ask like a good girl," he teased, blowing hot air into the shell of her ear._

_"Sensei!"_

_"What was that?" he laughed, thrusting his hips against hers, pushing her pesky underwear, getting closer to his prize._

_"B-but-"_

_"Come Hana, you know what I want to hear, " he pushed against her, making her whimper._

_"Please sensei? I-I want you to fuck me hard, on the dance floor."_

_"Yes!"_

Jiraiya's mouth dropped. His writing was on the more romantic side. He couldn't believe someone was writing such things, and wasn't in trouble for it! He closed the book, chancing a peek at the rating and frowned. MAC. Only those who were eighteen and older could purchase it! Meaning there was no broken laws involved. Damn!

He placed the book back on the desk, and tried to ignore his old teammates smug grin, "You didn't write it did you Tsunade?"

She snorted, "I wish! That way I could rub it in your face that _I_ wrote something better than you! I can't exactly do that, but I can make fun of you for losing the number one spot in the romance section!"

Jiraiya sighed. How could something so horrible have happened?

There was knock at the door and Sakura walked in holding a stack of papers.

"Ah! Sakura, tell me, have you read this book?" Jiraiya asked, holding up the red item.

The girls face turned an impressive shade of pink before she answered, "Yes…...why?"

He threw his head back and let out a wail. Tsunade gave her a grin, "He isn't happy about the fact that _**Tabu Sensei**_ is more famous than Icha Icha."

"Don't even say such blasphemous words! My works shall always triumph over such, vulgar atrocities!"

Both Tsunade and Sakura's anger rose on that note. _Vulgar atrocities_?

"Watch your mouth! Those words, uttered in this building are like a curse. Everyone working here reads and loves that book and some won't hesitate to knock you on your ass for it!" Tsunade growled standing slowly.

Sakura's face took on the same expression as her shishou, and Jiraiya realized that he may have just asked for it. He gave an uncomfortable laugh and jumped out the window, running away from the scary women.

He kept running, hoping to find sanctuary anywhere. He noticed that the lines were moving quickly now, and that people were running into stores like asylum escapees. He didn't linger long enough to really give it much thought.

He found shelter in Training Ground Eight, and sat down, breathing hard. Lifting his head, he caught sight of his number one fan. At first he was excited, but then he remembered what Shikamaru said, and frowned.

The Copy Ninja was lounging in a tree, and upon closer inspection, he noticed that the man was holding a pink book! Not orange, or green, oh no! He knew immediately that it wasn't one of his works.

"Kakashi!"

Said ninja jerked upward, his visible eye widening at the sight of Jiraiya. He scrambled to put the book in his hands behind his back, but the Toad Sage was faster. He removed the book from Kakashi's possession, and studied it with a scrutinizing glare.

The book was mostly pink, while the three couples on the front, were each outlined in an explosion of sparkling silver. In short, it resembled the damn billboard. The interesting thing was that the center couple, which had the biggest picture, looked a lot like the couple on the front of the other book. Upon closer inspection, he noticed that the man looked quite a lot like Kakashi, and the girl, a near mirror image of his little student. The fact that the main colors for this book were silver and pink didn't escape him either. How strange.

"Master Jiraiya...I can explain."

"I can't believe you, of all people would do this to me Kakashi!" the Sannin sighed.

"Naruto reads it too!" Kakashi defended himself.

"Yes….but the fool never showed an ounce of appreciation for my great works! I would've thought that my number one fan would stay faithful though," he shook his head, trying to play on Kakashi's conscience.

Kakashi accepted the book back and shrugged, "Everyone was reading it, and I only just became interested a few days ago. I was shocked to hear from Pakkun, out of everyone I know,_ Pakkun_, had read it! He even said that it was okay! So, that just made me want to read it more."

"I was just in Tsunade's office and found out that she and every person in the building, along with the little Cherry Blossom, faithfully reads the book too!" he grumbled. "I can't even believe that Sakura reads it! Seeing how she reacts to the two of us when we get together and talk Icha Icha."

"I asked her about that, and she got very defensive of the book. She proceeded to insult Icha Icha, and I will have you know, that I did speak up about that," Kakashi informed him with a laugh.

Jiraiya sighed, "So what exactly is so great about these books? I read the page that Tsunade had marked, and I can say that I'm proud that my work is absolutely nothing like that!"

"Oh! What was it about?!" the Copy Ninja asked excitedly.

Jiraiya fixed him with a confused look, "The man was trying to convince the girl to make love to him on a dance floor."

"Chapter thirteen! I loved that part! I think that might be everyones favorite part! Kotetsu and Izumo had nothing but praise for it. Naruto and Sasuke liked it the most. I had the misfortune of hearing Ino tell all of her friends that she wishes she were in Hana's place, during that chapter, and even Sakura had high praise for it," Kakashi explained.

Jiraiya held out his hand, and Kakashi placed the book in it.

He looked at the cover again, finding nothing special. He turned the book over to see three paragraphs.

_Rozu loves her bff Utsu. But when Gin comes into the picture, she finds that she can't choose between them! A three way love affair with the perfect flare!_

_Yume and Kanjo hate each other, and are always competing! Yet they can't get enough. How can you hate someone so much, but love what they make your body feel?_

_Kaze has always found her younger twin Ai, scary. Though his love for basking in the blood of his enemies terrifies her, she can't deny that she likes how sexy the blood running down his body makes him look. Was it so wrong for her to love her little brother?_

Jiraiya handed him the book with a shake of his head. "I have never ventured into those realms before. Maybe I'm still stuck in the times where love making was between one man and one woman….who weren't related. I don't think that I will ever like that book," he sighed.

Kakashi shrugged, "Well, I guess I might not enjoy the guy on guy part. Depends on how it's written. But that'll be a while. I'm only ten pages in so far."

"You're even using the Icha Icha Method? Is everyone in the village insane now?!"

"Where did you hear that?!" Kakashi panicked.

"Oh, well, every now and then, I see Pakkun, and I do like to check up on my number one fan," he explained, scratching the back of his head.

Kakashi was shocked. Pakkun was involved in things and didn't even bother to tell him! He was reading porn with Sakura and giving information to Master Jiraiya. What else could the secretive little Pug be keeping from him?

"Okay. Getting passed that. What brings you to the village?"

Jiraiya got serious, "Well, my information network has informed me that there is someone in Sound who has taken over, and that he intends to rule through fear!"

Kakashi put _**Tabu Methods**_ into his pouch. "Do you have any idea of who this man is?" he asked.

Jiraiya sighed, "Not at all. All I've gotten is that the people in Sound are excited about the new leader. This might not be a good thing. Especially after Orochimaru, being the previous leader, and what could be left from his laboratories and such, this can't be anything good."

Kakashi nodded, "I can understand that. We don't want another Orochimaru on our hands, that's for sure."

Jiraiya stared off into the surrounding forest for a few minutes. "Well, would you happen to know where Naruto is? I wanted to see him," he asked after a moment of silence.

"I saw him in line near his apartment. I don't think he had anything to do today, so you should start at his house," the Copy Ninja explained, pulling out the pink book again.

Jiraiya shook his head and left Kakashi to his own devices. He was obviously the last thing on the man's mind. With that book in the man's possession, nothing seemed all that important. To think that it was only a few days ago when he was doing the same thing, but with Icha Icha. How far the Legendary Copy Ninja had fallen. Far indeed.

**A/N: Well, what did you think? Please let me know!**

**The 30th reviewer will have the next chapter dedicated to them!**

**If you want to have anything happen, like an idea for a mission or something, let me know, and I'll add it in! **


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